Family Goals - Part 1

Building off of the Relationship Goals we spoke of earlier, goal setting is an experience/project that can also be shared among a family. Here are a few examples of goals that a family might consider:

  • Home Improvement – When the whole family undertakes such a project, monotonous work often becomes at least bearable, if not outright fun.
  • Communication – Perhaps you all want to set aside at least some time each evening to spend with each other.
  • Improving Childrens' Grades – Your child would focus on improving his school grades, and you would commit to helping him with homework.
  • Lessening Conflict – Normally this would be directed towards siblings that like to bicker, but by making it a family goal the children will feel like it's a group project rather than a punishment or criticism directed solely at them.
  • Saving Money For Future Goals – There's no time like the present to teach children about the value of saving money. You can set aside some cash in your savings account while they fill their piggy bank.

It goes without saying that any family goals that include children should be easy enough for your child to accomplish, but in general it's almost never too early to teach your child the value of goal setting. When children are familiar with setting goals and following through with them until their conclusion, they build a sense of self-confidence and responsibility that will serve them well for all of their adult lives.

Here are some recommended steps to take when devising your family goals:

Individual Goal Determination

Each family member should first write down a list of goals they would personally like to see worked on. This should be done in separate, quiet rooms so that each member of the family doesn't speak about their own goals aloud and potentially influence others.

In the next step everyone will look at the goals each person presented and select the ones the group would like to work on, but at this point and time it's important that everyone walk in with unbiased preferences. It's also an important step for children because it teaches them to outline/write/plan their goals and desires rather than just "wing it" like so many of us do.

Group Selection of Goals

Now that each person has spent a good amount of quiet contemplation and have written their goals down, it's time to share them among the group and vote/determine which will be pursued. Rather than just list the goals each person has written, the family member should explain WHY they support that goal. Not only does this help the group understand each other's motivations better, it teaches the children to vocalize their wishes and intentions in a logical, well-constructed manner.

Naturally depending on the age of your children they may throw out some wacky goals that are not to the group's benefit to follow. Your job as a parent will be to veto some of those goals in a compromising manner, but it's important to balance legitimately foolish goals (I want to eat 30 chocolate bars for supper every night!) and goals that your child may value strongly but you perceive to be unimportant (I want to watch a movie three nights a week!).

In the above the first example is clearly bad for your child, so you would never approve of that group goal. You would also explain why it's not an appropriate one to pursue. On the other hand while the second one might sound poorly thought out on face value, you can use this to your advantage by slipping in additional requirements. Instead of allowing your child to watch a movie three nights a week (a goal that serves no point), you can tweak it such that the family watches a movie together three nights a week. Suddenly with that small tweak it's a goal that improves family time and communication.

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