Family Goals - Part 2

Identify Potential Obstacles

After you all select a couple goals to focus on, identify any potential obstacles that could prevent any of you from succeeding in achieving that family goal. Parents should subtly hang back during this session and try to let their children take the lead – again this trains the child to think for himself, logically evaluate goals and look at both sides of every situation.

Obstacles can be anything from non-consensus among the group (i.e., some want the goal, others hate the idea) to inevitable roadblocks (i.e., ordering in pizza every evening might be too expensive for the budget, unhealthy, etc.).

Overcoming The Obstacles

Not all obstacles are insurmountable, and this is the stage that proves it. Together you should analyze any obstacles listed above and try to find remedies that can better assist in ensuring they are accomplished.

For example, let's say you wanted the entire family to get more exercise, but your child is unenthusiastic about it. He hates exercise! But instead of heading out to the gym, maybe a half-hour bike ride three times a week around the neighborhood would please him since most children enjoy riding bikes. Or perhaps a simple sport. Or even horseback riding!

The point is often a negatively perceived goal (exercise) can actually be enjoyable if you find a form that works for you. Not only do you want to find compromises or actions that will circumvent obstacles, you want to train your child to do the same.

Set A Deadline For Your Goal(s)

Now it's time to set a deadline for your goal, or break up a complex long-term goal into smaller ones. Since this has been explained elsewhere in this web guide I won't repeat the process here. The point of this step is to teach your child to break large goals down into easily identifiable and accomplishable tasks, rather than attempt to bite into a project too expansive or challenging for them to succeed.

Prepare A Goals Worksheet

You'll notice that one person normally does each of the above steps at the time they create their Goals Worksheet. The reason they were broken down into separate stages is that until your child has gone through the goals creation process and created his own goals worksheet a couple times he will need to be educated in the proper procedure.

The previous steps outlined the major points that will be transferred to a goals worksheet, so now you are ready to proceed with actually creating it. You have two choices at this point:

  • You can all create your own individual goals worksheets.
  • You can create one on behalf of the whole group.

The only reason you would individually create goals worksheets is if you wanted your child to become intimately familiar and directly involved with the process. But if you create one goals worksheet you can still serve this purpose by formulating it together. Just make sure your child takes a lead role if you want it to be an educational experience.

You'll see by now that a lot of emphasis in the family goals setting section is educating a child about the process and preparing a solid foundation for his or her future. The reason the emphasis is so heavily on child involvement is because if you have a childless marriage then the Relationship Goals page would be more suitable for you.

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